It was upon the unplanned, but much welcomed, pregnancy with my son that I began to realize the first of many truths that I would come to know in Christ.
At this stage in my life, I was far from knowing Christ, let alone being in a relationship with Him. But in hindsight, He was there beside me speaking softly to my heart.
I began to realize that the more I focused on other people’s needs the more the pieces of my life puzzle naturally fall into place. As I struggled to recover from frontal lobe brain damage from a serious motor vehicle accident, I spent a lot of time thinking about how pitiful my situation was.
My first and strongest motivation to change my life was the baby inside of me. All of a sudden the focus was not on me anymore, I was responsible for another life. In my mind I had purpose again. My focus slowly shifted from how pitiful my life was to how much I wanted to teach my unborn child. I desired to teach this child the importance of not giving up. The importance of integrity, the importance of being responsible, honest, trustworthy, faithful, good, patient, kind, loving and the list goes on. I wanted to inspire my child to face life head on and thrive each day of his life.
Enter my savior who quietly and discreetly planted those seeds of desire in my heart along with a pinch of conviction. Okay, maybe not a pinch of conviction. It was more like a blast of conviction.
Then it dawned on me.
How could I possibly teach my child to have these qualities if I didn’t believe in them strongly enough to live them myself? How can a depressed, dishonest, deceitful, irresponsible, criminally minded mother teach her child to be the exact opposite of all that? The truth is I couldn’t do it.
In Matthew 19:26, Jesus reveals that, “Humanly speaking it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.” Let that sink in for a minute. Everything is possible.
Here’s the best part. It wouldn’t be until years later that I would pick up a bible and subsequently ask Jesus to be my personal savior. But in those early days of seeking change–God was there. Each stage of my son’s life and development marked a turning point for me. As he grew, I became more conscious of him watching me and witnessing my lifestyle. Somehow I was able to make the necessary changes in my life that allowed me to teach my son how to have integrity, how to be honest, trustworthy, good, patient, kind and he list goes on. God made the impossible happen in my life by listening to my heart. And He did all this despite the fact that I was not yet in relationship with Him.
Several years later as I began to purposefully seek Jesus in the Bible and grow in my desire to know Him, I began to realize just how much of a presence God had in my life all along. The magnitude of this realization literally brought me to my knees. Who pours that kind of love into the life of a sinner who refuses to give credit where credit is due?
by Melanie Crawford