We all have to deal with anger. So, how can we resolve anger?

Here are five important steps to get out of the anger trap:


Try to understand why you are angry. Remember, there is a difference between the normal irritations in life and a persistent state of anger.


One of the predominant causes of divorce today is negative behavior such as unkind words, abuse and constant fighting. One psychologist says that an angry confrontation can erase 20 acts of kindness. The point is, anger can cost us dearly if we do not keep it in check.

Step 3: LET IT OUT

Release your anger to God in prayer. Tell God how you feel. He can handle it. Then go talk about it with a friend. Or, even the person you’re angry at, if you can do it constructively. Whatever you do, don’t keep your anger locked up in your heart. Repressed anger visits in a host of emotional and relational problems.


That means to control your words and behavior. God tells us to get a grip on our tongues: “When words are many, sin is not absent. But he who keeps a tight rein on his tongue is wise” (Proverbs 10:19). Don’t cross the line of verbal or physical abuse no matter how frustrated you get. Don’t justify or excuse such abusive behaviors.

Step 5: GIVE IT UP

As Christians, we do not have the right to remain angry. In Christ, we have given up that right. We surrender our anger to Him and forgive others as He has forgiven us. When we forgive, we are free indeed. Free from resentment, bitterness, and anger.

So, as we walk today through the mine field of relationships replete with misunderstandings, remember the word of God: “Be angry and sin not. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry (Ephesians 4:26).

by Dr. David C. Cooper

14 Responses to Steps Out Of Anger

  1. Bc says:

    Very helpful message and replies. We all encounter folks we don’t mesh with. Sometimes its our spouse and our business partner. What a great opportunity to show our love of God. Hopefully, I am worthy. I have put both on my prayer list hoping that they will also change their heart for the betterment of all.

  2. joy says:

    I need to be free from anger. I tried severally but cant help myself. My husband is making me get angry every day I cant even understand him again and it Is affecting my health and marriage. I don’t want to miss heaven and I need to get out from this. You told him something you don’t like, he will do it over and over again. He takes things for granted and does not understand his role as the head of the home. its hurts me so much and I am so bitter with him. Iam in dear need of advice

  3. james asira njen says:

    glory be to GOD in heaven that has given us the Grace to listen to his good message.

  4. Lilian says:

    Getting angry is normal but managing it is the challenge some of us do not know what to do when we are angry we end up withdrawing so how best can I remain focused in prayer when I am angry. Please share.

  5. Joan Kanaski says:

    SO many battles, so little strength…again, God guides me to where HE is and provides His wisdom for such a time as this!!! Sometimes the anger is an outcome but not the real issue…and frequently harder to ‘bare’ that root. I pray that God keeps humbling me and I WILLINGLY SUBMIT all my anger, hurts and the sources of them to Him… I know I can’t serve Him best while I CARRY them. I am praying for this for all my family, too, as we are in trials right now. THANK YOU LORD!!!

  6. ordena stover says:

    this came at a good time this morning–I struggle with understanding my husbandd=we have been married 58 years and he use to be so active–now he is hateful and falls all the time–the change in him takes everything I have to keep myself under control–being husband and wife of a home just is not easy when we use to be able to work together–I just miss the old husband–he is a good man

  7. Esther says:

    Please, what can I do anytime am angry and I refuse to say it out imedately, it leads to malice which I dnt like. So most times I say it out in annonace and when am done I feel relieve. There nothing the person will do to me I will ignore. But if I dnt say it out imedately, I will be frustrated. Please what can I do

  8. Bincy Mary George says:

    Yes… indeed. That’s a nice way of dealing with it. 🙂

  9. Joan Ehrgott says:

    Staying Angry makes one sick!

  10. Rhonda says:

    T u. ! This came @ The Perfect time ‘!!! I was packing my bags & gonna leave . After I cussed ‘ out my cheating liar of a husband – instead I calmly talked & WE decided ; best for Him to leave – at least for a few months – maybe counciling , maybe not ?! I’m talking to GOD about it . I’m getting That PEACE that passes ALL UNDERSTANDING ! Now I Know what THAT script ‘ really means . Thank u again!!!

  11. Michelle Turner says:

    This has been easy for me to forget and has cost me dearly. I pray from this day forward the Lord will keep me in check I can always be free of sin and be able to serve our lord. I need a lot. Of prayer right now so I will not operate in this fashion.
    Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers, and may all of you be able to be free of this demonic sitituation.
    Thank you all

  12. Janice Rogers says:

    Thanks for this message. Being angry is being human. It is going to happen. Jesus said it is ok to be angry, but to sin not. Learning how to manage anger and turning it over to God and letting him handle the situations is part of growing. It is those tests that causes us to grow. It hurts and we feel betrayed but we must know that to deny self, take up cross and follow Jesus will bring us healing and fruits of the spirit that can only be grown through those trials.

  13. Friday Bodjor says:

    Marvelous!! Thanks for letting this out, for it will heal many souls

  14. anne says:

    This message has spoken to me. I have been angry at a close relative and I realize as a Christian I have to get past what he does that makes me soo angry. Thank you. I surrender my anger to Christ.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *